Dear Diary

GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
dear diary,

today the homeless man, the one with the wild eyes and long, shaggy hair- the one dressed in old trash bags who has long, meaningful conversations with a fire hydrant- he said hello to me... I'm questioning the authenticity of my reality... Maybe I'm a figment of his demented imagination. 

The fire hydrant's name is Betty...


  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
    dear diary,

    I slipped and  hit my head in the shower. Now I can't remember where I live and I'm afraid to come out because I don't recognize the people out in the other room...

    I should have stitched all that information into my underwear...

    mom, you were right...
  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
    dear diary,

    I'm so pumped!!
    today I started my new workout feel good weight loss program! I walked 2 blocks down to GreasePit Pizza, bench pressed a large pepperoni and mushroom pizza over my head, did some forearm curls with a 42oz coke, and finished with a slow calorie burning stroll home! 
    Tomorrows goal: take the trash out and get the mail. 
    Go ME!
  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
    dear diary, 

    today, while I was playing my cello in the subway, trying to get a few dollars, some guy told me that I sucked and not to quit my day job... Man! Everybody's a critic!

    I contacted Mr. Withers down at the office and after my re-evaluation with human resources, I can have my old job back...
  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
    dear diary,

    I was feeling sad and missing my family today so I went for lunch down the street at that cafe that advertises "Home cooked meals like Mom used to make".
    The food wasn't anything like Moms! It was edible and delicious...

    I'll never go back there.
  • LanaPirateGalLanaPirateGal Posts: 12Member
    how did you learn to write like this? :smiley: 
  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member what? In English? It's my native language. 
    @LanaPirateGal, write a dear diary entry! Let's be goofballs and spiral this out of control! Anarchy!!
  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
    dear diary,

    @LanaPirateGal commented today on my post and I was so excited.
    i still find myself wishing she'd stop showing up at my work. And patrolling my neighborhood late at night. And calling. Always calling! Crying and following me... Sheesh! 

    Going to go buy a restraining order down at the drug store tonight...
  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
    dear diary,

    today I became un-nerved when I came across my cat staring with eyes raised to the ceiling, unblinking like a treacherous Sphinx, without mercy, heralding my slow and steady plunge into the abyss of nightmare...

    she was staring at the ceiling fan again...

    stupid cat...
  • GruntSmGruntSm Posts: 51Member
    dear diary,

    All week I've been dredging through work with one goal in mind: the weekend!
    All week I've been struggling to simply keep on my feet and not let the tedium and brutality wear me down!
    And now; the Weekend! Oh joyous celebration commence, sing a song of fun and frivolity!!!

    -sigh- I'm so bored...
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